Cleaning Day

Sammy left this morning. It’s her last semester of college. I felt a surge of emotion as we loaded her stuff into her car. But, that could be hormonal. I woke up at 1:00 am having a hot flash and a surge of anxiety that I won’t be able to fit all of my enormous amount of shit into my new studio. And I was having hot flashes as I was taping up some boxes for Sam.

I have been moving my stuff into my studio all week, and I’m still not done. It is already two weeks since we had the painting done. That day was supposed to be cleaning day, but I cancelled. It is cleaning day again and I can’t cancel again. I need to get done.

I still have some boxes in the dining and living rooms, and I’m running out of space in the new studio. I said I would go through the fabrics as I moved them back in – I managed to pare down the stash by one box. Now I have 30 empty boxes in the dining room I’ve got to crush and do something with. And there are still boxes to unpack and stuff to put away – hence the anxiety driven hot flash at 1:00 am.

And. .  today I find myself in a new reality: I am truly alone in the house. The kids are both away at college and the dog is gone.

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